So I haven’t been applying the rules for very long (or very well, I’m gonna be upfront about that), but I HAVE been trying apply them… and in the last two weeks or so, I have been having a fair amount of trouble with Rule 5 which states:
No chatting/texting all day
- Time gate – wait 2-4 hours before responding, and do this from day one
- No texting during business hours
- No good morning, good night texts
- Do not make yourself available to them whenever they want
Point 1 – timegating: I have personally been having a terrible time with time gating. Here’s what has been happening for me: I connect with someone, I do a bit of an intro chat, and then I time gate. And what I am finding is that either they or I get bored with the lack of interaction and just lose interest. I just don’t think it’s really possible in the first stages of deciding whether you are going to bang this person or not. And maybe not even wise. A lot of insanity can come out in those chats. A casual bit of racism, maybe they don’t believe in gravity… or maybe they let slip that they have a fancy porcelain leg, who knows.
Where I think timegating could or should be applied is if/when you start getting all fucking melty about some dude. It’s meant to be a strategy to help you cool off. If you’re already cool, I think you’re fine. Time gate if your brain/heart is being an idiot and if you’re TOO into someone. And you’ll know you are because you WON’T WANT TO DO IT.
Point 2 – no texting during business hours: Focus on your job first, get your shit done, don’t constantly have your phone in front of your face cause that’s probably a bad look, though I don’t think we need a separate point for this. Just don’t text men all the time, okay?
Point 3 – no good morning or good night texts: I STAND BY THIS ONE. Nothing comes from this other than mushy melty ovaries. No. Fuck off. It’s a cheap, low-effort move for fools.
Point 4 – do not make yourself available to them whenever they want: I think that this is the KEY point here of all of them. This is the summation and the crux of the entirety of rule 5.
Listen. It’s fun and gratifying to chat with guys and be flirty. It’s easy and you can do it in your pyjamas with half a roll of unbaked cookie dough log hanging out of your mouth. I get it.
But it’s also a bad habit to get into. Have your own life, do your thing, and then every now and then text with someone. Don’t make it the thing you do ALL the time. You’ll exhaust yourself before to know it, and get weird and bitter.
Suggested rule 5 rewrite:
Do not make yourself available to them whenever they want.
- No chatting or texting all day and all night
- No good morning/good night texts
- Time gate your replies if you start getting TOO into someone
-C
Alright, I’m here to weigh in! I’ve also had some issues with this rule, so I think we need some modifications.
Point 1 – Timegating
I’ll agree, it’s super difficult to get to know someone well enough in the beginning if you’re forcing all these hours in between responses. You can’t just… have a conversation. And definitely, there are things I need to know about this person. I know it’s all just casual sex, but I don’t want to fuck a sociopath. Also, definitely not into banging someone who believes there are lizard people in the middle of the earth, or what have you.
What I’ve already been doing is this: I’ll have mini-conversations. We chat for a bit, maybe half an hour to an hour, get some back and forth going, and then I just stop. I usually don’t give an explanation or justification, I’ll just not respond for awhile. This is partly because I’m actually busy and have a life. But sometimes when I feel like we’ve been chatting for a long enough time, it’s just time to cut it off, so I just decide that’s enough for now. They can wait until I’m available again.
The key here is, end the conversation first. Leave them wanting more.
I’m on the fence about the timegating if you’re getting too attached – my opinion is, if you’re feeling the feels, it’s already too late and you may need another strategy? But I do think this timegating should at least help PREVENT the feels from even happening in the first place.
Point 2 – No texting during business hours
I tried this but it just didn’t work for my situation. Since I’m in a relationship, the only time we do get to spend together is not during business hours. So I didn’t want to be on the phone talking to guys the whole time. I do agree that focusing on your work is wise, but also, I do have downtime during the work day when texting makes sense. I think maybe this can be modified to be more general like, no texting when you really should be doing something more important?
Point 3 – No good morning or good night texts
100% this still stands. No good can come of it, it ventures into relationship territory, and also, they don’t need to know when I’m awake or going to bed or any of it. My personal life and schedule is none of their business, and I don’t want to give the impression that it even remotely is.
Point 4 – Do not make yourself available to them whenever they want
Agreed, this is the actual rule here. Don’t ever let them think that you’re just available to them whenever they want you to be. Make them feel like they have to catch you at the right time, and they have to keep trying to do it. As soon as they think you’re too easy to get a hold of, whenever they like, they’ll take advantage/lose interest.
I’m on board with the rewrite, with the modification that I feel has been working for me:
Do not make yourself available to them whenever they want.
- No chatting or texting all day and all night
- Time gate your replies in between smaller conversations
- No good morning/good night texts
- Time gate your replies if you start getting TOO into someone
Thoughts?
-A
Casual Sex Rules For Women - Get Fucked The Right Way 